If you're getting divorced and you're thinking about talking to your children, it's important that you're 100% sure that the divorce will happen. You don't want to jump the gun and bring this up before you know that it's going to occur.
Once you are sure, however, you don't want to put off having a conversation with your kids. One thing to keep in mind while you have this talk is that children often think about divorce much differently than you do.
For example, children are often concerned about things like whether or not they get to go to the same school or if they're going to have to move away from their friends and neighbors who live down the street.
Parents may not have considered who their neighbors are going to be at all, because this is not important to them during a divorce, but you still want to talk about these types of things with your children. Set aside time for them to ask questions and provide them with answers so that they feel a greater sense of stability and they know what's going on.
Thinking it's their fault
Another common issue is that children will assume that the divorce must be their fault. This is because they often think about their own actions and the ramifications of those actions. You could say that this is a self-centered worldview, but it's natural with children as they grow and develop.
Unfortunately, this means that they will sometimes assume that things they had nothing to do with – such as their parents' divorce – are their own fault. It's important to reinforce the fact that it is not and to assure the children that you both still love them.
Getting divorced and becoming co-parents can be complicated. It's very important to understand all of your rights and legal options.